Welcome to my story.
The year is 2020, which will become known as the year of the Pandemic.
A pivotal year for many of us, for many reasons.
From broken to re-building myself, this story starts a little late, after a very big chapter that preceded it.
For many reasons that chapter had to be left behind so that a new one could begin to be written.
I hope my story, my work, continues to inspire and drive my vision to bring a little bit of happiness to the lives of others living with chronic illness, mental health issues, or disabilities.
Love and blessings always Melissa xx (HoneyBee)
The Journey to Me - 2020
I'm all for reinventing yourself. I love the idea of starting something new and challenging yourself in ways that excite and help you to grow. However, I didn't think I would be reinventing myself at this stage in my journey.
I was diagnosed in 2008 with a progressively terminal rare chronic illness called pulmonary arterial hypertension. It had a survival rate of about 3 years if treatment is effective, and at that time there were only a few medications to treat this disease. I was nearly dead when I was finally diagnosed, which only complicated the whole process. In my long journey I have already survived being terminal three times.
I have faced and overcome many challenges, and changes, jumped through countless hurdles, and been forced to grow in ways that were often incredibly painful, especially in the last two years.
In late 2019 my future changed unexpectedly, and it was with enormous sadness that I decided to alter the trajectory of my life. Having spent ten years working hard to create, grow, establish and network within the pulmonary hypertension area in Australia and internationally. I found myself desperately unhappy and frustrated with the politics and amazing power imbalance. I had spent years studying and gaining qualifications and new skills in the field of community services, web design, social media and publishing. I had created an amazing small team of people all with a lived experience to work alongside me. After 8 years of being a support group we became an incorporated association and national charity for Australia. Ten years of hard work had finally reached its crescendo and we had made it, or so I thought...
I had suffered a great trauma in the time leading up to our incorporation and I seriously should have stopped the process and reassessed back in 2018. Being a fighter and not used to giving up, I convinced myself that it would all turn out ok. I was wrong. After months of incredible stress and a diagnosis of PTSD from the emotional turmoil and two nervous breakdowns, I realised I could not go on like this anymore.
I became so depressed I realised I could no longer work for our organisation in good faith, as it was the people who were supposed to be my medical caretakers who had caused my trauma. I could no longer cope, and I began to withdraw myself back into my protective shell. I needed time to heal, time to forgive the people who had caused my pain and suffering.
You've heard that old saying "do as I say, not as I do"? Well eventually that can bite you in the ass! Preaching self care to others and not practising it yourself leaves you exhausted and empty. I realised this was what my life had become. The cup was empty where it was once overflowing with joy and happiness, now there was only darkness and despair. Depression set in and fear ruled my every decision. I had worked so hard for so long and now I was literally broken, both physically and emotionally. I had to make peace with those now broken pieces that made up my life.
Despite the many challenges throughout my life I have always been a happy person. A cup half full, joyful with a zest for living. I love people and helping out where I can be useful in my community. I no longer felt these things about myself, and that had to change. I very tentatively and bravely decided to change pretty much everything in my life. I realised I needed a mentor, and I needed to go back to the basics of why I started my journey into the self help and support group sector to start with. I needed to start thinking about what I needed too. I needed to start living again, not just existing.
I read an amazing quote that said "Don't do great things - do every little thing in a great way" Mother Teresa. After practically killing myself, and everyone on our team I finally started to listen to some of these amazing life altering quotes. I spent time talking with the people who had been so supportive of me and my vision for our organisation, and really listening to why they had been attracted to helping. I had somehow lost my way, my uniqueness in a quest to be included and accepted. It was time to return to the basics. Time to discover who the new me could be. Take my own advice about self-care, and start enjoying life again.
So this is the beginning of the journey to me under the new banner of "Chronically Inspired" Life.Beyond.Disability.
2020, a new year and a new decade. Wish me luck, you are all invited along for the ride!
Love Melissa (HoneyBee) xx
Achievements I am most proud of up to the year 2020
Completing Certificate IV Community Services in 2018, and having my final exam just weeks after near death in ICU.
Building a Website, twice.
Learning how to create and publish a small magazine for the Australian Pulmonary Hypertension community.
Forming lasting relationships and friendships with our amazing sponsors from my former organisation PHNA.
Spending quality time with very special individuals all living with, or caring for someone with pulmonary hypertension, and being able to help in some small way.
Reinventing myself into Chronically Inspired and creating a new website, social media platforms and magazine to support those living with both pulmonary hypertension, and chronic illness/conditions and mental health challenges.
Finding Life Coach #Jackie Rowe from #Focus Coaching who has been an amazing mentor and been pivotal in helping me turn my life around after being diagnosed with PTSD.
Being brave enough to turn up to the training for the #WA Recovery College Alliance and do their #Educators Foundation Program and then training to become an Educator for WARCA.
Meeting some of the most courageous and kind people I have met in a long time, which enabled me to regain my confidence and add to my skill set, opening up a world of possibilities...
Learning about Self Care and making myself a priority. Being brave enough to pivot and adjust to life's curve balls and keep going!
Winning Awards for
"Support Group and Self Help Champion"
For founding, running and growing our pulmonary hypertension support group.
From ConnectGroups Association 2015.
"The Tom Lantos Community Services Award"
From the Pulmonary Hypertension Association USA. PHNA were one of 12 International Winners in 2016.
We created the first patient pack & resources for people living with pulmonary hypertension in Australia.
For creating the first educational patient pack for the pulmonary hypertension community in Australia.
From ConnectGroups Association 2018.
"Community Services Health Consumer Award Finalist"
For my work in the field of pulmonary hypertension.
From the Health Consumer Council 2019.
Growing and Learning
Working with, and learning from some amazing people who I will love and cherish always.
Learning to forgive myself and make my well-being a priority.
Forgiving others, even when they weren't sorry
Starting over, again..to find my Y!
Being Brave & Never Giving Up!